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Pentakill (band)

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Pentakill is Valoran's most famous (and possibly only) rock band. Its members consist of champions from the League of Legends.

Members

The Master of Metal

JoJ Jace1
Mordekaiser and Zaun's Techma-Tune scene
Jace P. Prest reporting from Zaun[1]
JoJ Pentakill
Sona and Mordekaiser storm Zaun with their wildly popular band, Pentakill
Down in the slums of Zaun, where the gutters glow green with techmaturgical runoff, one can find all manner of unsavory characters: the disreputable, the disadvantaged, and the disillusioned. These are the homes of back-alley sorcerers and shimmer addicts, all those whom critics say are the byproducts of Zaun's rapid and reckless research initiatives. Yet, despite (or perhaps, because of) the many negative images associated with the Zaunite slums, thrill seekers frequently venture down to these dark alleys. They come in larger numbers every week, and all come for one reason: the undeniable allure of Zaun's underground techmaturgical music scene.

With instruments powered by techmaturgical amplification, "Techma-Tune" musicians and their strange, wailing sound have been gaining ground in Zaunian taverns for years. Those hip to the scene gather in droves to listen to the stylings of bands such as "The Hexbenders", "Yordle Mothership", or "Tainted Nexus". For the price of a cheap (and questionably concocted) beverage, any traveler can shove for shoulder-room to see these talented groups perform.

Though the Techma-Tune movement has long been an unknown scene outside of Zaun, a new star recently pushed interest in this genre of music beyond Zaun's borders and into the hearts and minds of countless Valorans. For the past few months,  Mordekaiser, the Master of Metal and champion of the League, has been storming the stages of Zaun with devastating effect as lead guitarist of the band "Pentakill". His dark, pounding rhythms resonate deeply with his followers. One fan says, "His strings speak to the torment of my existence." Another gushes, "I know that deep beneath that armor beats a broken heart like mine. I love you, Mordekaiser!"

We had the privilege of speaking briefly with the League fighter and night rocker:

JP: Mordekaiser, you're an enigma both in and out of the arena. What draws you away from the Field of Justice to pursue this surprising side-project?

M: My fans. I am drawn to their disease.

JP: You mean their feverish love of this Techma-Tune music?

M: No.

Pentakill's popularity exploded recently when Mordekaiser appeared on stage with an unlikely co-star:  Sona, the League's darling diva! The masterful mistress of strings has been regularly rocking at Mordekaiser's side in true Techma-Tune style, clad in silver chains and black finery. The two have been busy releasing more captivating singles than ever before, with Sona's otherworldly serenades adding a somber and captivating undertone to Mordekaiser's gritty, powerful chords. Though Sona was (understandably) unavailable for comment, Mordekaiser has confirmed his desire to expand the ensemble further into a full band: "I would welcome those who would bring my music further power. We are known as Pentakill, and we shall rock as no other. Join us, if you are so bold."

Hear Pentakill perform their new hit, "Mask of Madness" at Trogsworth's Tavern in the heart of Zaun’s trade district any night this week. Be warned – it's standing room only and the crowd can get a little raucous. Also, if you yourself are a talented techma-musician, gather your courage and approach the stage afterwards for a personal audition!

Journal of Justice letter

"Dear Pentakill: As a new summoner, I have been hard at work training, working with several champions who share my style. One such champion, and the frontman for the band Pentakill, is the master of metal himself:  Mordekaiser. Although he has joined forces with the musically talented Sona to make a band to bring the life-changing music of metal to the League, it confuses me that there are only two members: guitar and keyboards. After giving it some thought, I would like to ask the frontman himself if he has any plans at all for additions to the band and what new heights he has in store for them?"Lemarius[2]

Getting a backstage pass to a Pentakill show is perhaps the next most difficult thing to getting to interview champions after League matches. Nonetheless, I fought through legions of spiky, thrashing Pentakill enthusiasts to get you Mordekaiser's response.

"Pentakill is recruiting. We get lots of applications. One new member is coming soon. You will all suffer his brutal wrath."

Drunk Karthus

 Yorick
Pentakillers![3]

I’m afraid we've got some bad news. Our lawyers just informed us that  Karthus has received a drunken disorderly following our last 18 concerts, which is news to us because we just found out that's an actual crime. Unfortunately, this Demacian judge is a real hardass, and the only plea deal he's offering requires us to assign Karthus a "sober companion" to keep him from relapsing. We tried to explain that anybody who gets between Karthus and the keg usually winds up dead, but he keeps insisting. Besides, sending Karthus to jail would mean canceling the tour, and we're already in the hole since Olaf burned down that hotel in Piltover because the concierge insulted his hat.

I guess we’ll have to interview some candidates. But first pass me that bottle of Jarvan Walker. I haven’t had breakfast yet, and there’s no way I can make a decision like this on an empty stomach.

 Karthus: I can't believe you $#*ing guys are going make me quit drinking. I mean, what would I do without booze, huh? You can't really expect me to do this sober!

 Mordekaiser: Karthus, you really have to see how you've contributed here. It isn't our fault you can't hold your liquor – you haven't got a stomach. Besides, you were going strong until you took those six hits off Sona's Oracle's Elixir. I could understand if you were the support, but that's just irresponsible. Tell him, Sona.

 Sona: …

 Karthus: Hey @#$& you, you ^$*ing #$*@s! I !$#^ing carry this %&^*ing band! Who the *&%$ing @!#$ do you &%#$s think you are making me get clean? @#%^ing %^&# this $%#@, I'm going to @%^$ing kill whoever you @#^$ing hire and then drink vast quantities of mead. @#%#!

 Olaf: Well, I don't think anybody's going to top that. Um… our new record, Death Rides a Pale Boar is in stores now. And don't steal it because, you know… we'll kill you.

References

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