Volume 1, Issue 27
FORMARE VENEFICIUS EST FORMARE FATUM
24 August, 21 CLE
Veigar Attempts Abduction of Bandle City Mothership
Kaldera Carnadine reporting from Bandle City
The plans of the mastermind behind the Horseshoe Heist and Balloon Burglary—none other than Veigar, the Tiny Master of Evil himself—nearly came to fruition yesterday morning in a grand attempt to abduct Bandle City’s beloved Mothership. While his plans were foiled by a migrating flock of geese, Veigar managed to escape the city following his defeat. The Mothership itself was unharmed by the ordeal.
Over the past few weeks, the Institute of War has worked alongside the Scouts of the Mothership on investigation of the Horseshoe Heist and the Balloon Burglary in Bandle City. The Scouts of the Mothership confirmed a connection between the two events based on similar traces of magical energy left behind at the respective crime scenes. As the Scouts prepared to continue their investigation yesterday, Veigar reportedly appeared in a burst of dark magic atop the yordles’ famed Mothership. “We had the magical evidence, but we hardly needed it: he’d tied the horseshoes to the stolen balloons and enchanted them both,” said one Scout representative.
Veigar’s plan quickly became obvious: the horseshoes’ shape allowed them to slip perfectly under the curved metal of the Mothership’s nose cone and his enchanted balloons threatened to lift the Mothership from the ground. A crowd of yordles gathered at the scene gasped as the metal groaned under the strain of the tugging balloons.
The Tiny Master of Evil addressed the crowd: “Just try to laugh at me now, foolish yordles! We’ll see how long your pathetic ‘unity’ lasts without your precious Mothership!”
When one concerned onlooker asked what he planned to do with the abducted Mothership, Veigar paused, then replied: “…don’t bother me with the details!”
As Veigar spoke to the gathered yordles, a flock of sharp-winged thresher geese approached from the west. Veigar remained oblivious to their presence: “He was too busy talking to notice,” said Colin Dee, a Tenderfoot victim of the Balloon Burglary and witness at the Mothership. “He should’ve known, though. Even first-year Tenderfeets know that it’s sharp-winged thresher geese season right now.” The flock of predatory birds passed above the Mothership and sliced though all but one of Veigar’s enchanted balloons, deflating them immediately.
In the face of impending and accidental defeat, Veigar tugged the final balloon free of its horseshoe and began to rise into the sky, claiming that Bandle City “hadn’t seen the last of him” and that he would “get them next time.” However, League Champion Teemo, having just arrived at the Mothership, took aim and burst Veigar’s last balloon with a single dart. The Tiny Master of Evil plummeted into the tree line just outside the city.
Bandle City officials were unable to locate the Tiny Master of Evil following his escape from the battle, noting that it is likely he escaped through magical means. Most efforts were focused on inspection of the Mothership, which, despite its preexisting state of disarray, had miraculously suffered no apparent damage.
Many onlookers, however, commented in disdain that the Mothership appeared to have shifted “just slightly to the left.”
Intruder Discovered in Kalamanda's Prison
Kaldera Carnadine reporting from Kalamanda
An anonymous tip led the remaining Demacian guards in Kalamanda to the remnants of the local prison last night, resulting in a scuffle with an unidentified intruder. The suspect was caught searching the same ward in which the Demacian prisoner was assassinated in June. After a violent confrontation with the Might of Demacia and a host of guards, he escaped into the night. Investigators have since been unable to track him.
Before the outbreak of war in Kalamanda, a Demacian soldier who had publically confessed to conspiracy against Noxus by order of Jarvan IV himself was mysteriously assassinated. He was found dead in his cell shortly after his confession, a victim of Nyzer poisoning, and investigators were unable to find any evidence left behind by the culprit.
Last night, however, Demacian representatives received an anonymous message hinting that the assassin would return to the prison to retrieve "evidence left undiscovered." Garen, the Might of Demacia himself, led a group of responders to the prison shortly before midnight. "The assassination of Thom Garvin was Noxus' attempt to silence him," stated Garen. "Demacia will take every measure to ensure that those responsible are brought to justice."
At the prison, the small Demacian force discovered an unidentified intruder searching the cells. Garen reportedly ordered the man to stand down, but a fight ensued nonetheless. "He was too fast with his blades," said Elim Relgar, one of the soldiers present at the scene. "Only Garen could match him. He almost had the intruder cornered, but the bastard disappeared right out from under us."
Following the fight, investigators searching the area discovered no new evidence for the assassination of the Demacian prisoner.
However, the intruder left behind several daggers and a torn note, pictured above. Thus far, the content of the note has yet to be deciphered.
League officials in Kalamanda will remain on watch for the mysterious individual in the coming days. Garen requested that a small group of Dauntless Vanguard join their patrol, but the request was denied. "We have allowed small groups of Noxian and Demacian forces to oversee the extraction process and the construction of the Crystal Scar provided they remember one thing: the war is over," stated High Councilor Vessaria Kolminye, overseeing the League's continued presence in Kalamanda. "The League will continue to quell any action that could result in renewed violence."
Gragas Partners with Singed in Business Venture
Cpt. Morgan Rackham reporting from Zaun
The rumor mill surrounding Gragas, the Rabble Rouser’s arrival in Zaun this past week has been spinning faster than a dazed, drunken yordle in a funhouse. There were many theories flying about, all of them absurd, all of them credible, and, ultimately, all of them wrong. Some said that he was here in town to look for inspiration towards his latest masterpiece by sampling the local brews. Others theorized that he’d heard of some dangerous new mixture and was here to drink himself under the table. And still others theorized that the Noxian guard force was simply a bit too on edge for him to fancy a visit given the current political climate.
No one, it seemed, would have been willing to believe that there was no carousing on the agenda for our favorite rambunctious drunkard. But as it turns out, none of these popular rumors had landed anywhere close to the mark. Rather, the famed brew master was in town for business, not pleasure. Apparently, back at the Institute of War, he and Singed had been wheeling and dealing over distribution rights for some of Gragas’ various famed concoctions.
Chairman Stanwick Pididily was less interested in the reason for Gragas’ arrival and more interested in taking measures to keep him from laying waste to the city.
After all, during a previous visitation, it’s been said that the famed champion of the League inadvertently started one of the worst chemical fires in recent memory by upending a large tank of industrial coolant he’d mistaken for a cask of beer in a drunken haze. Three corporate properties were lost in the wake of the burnout, including the warehouse storing fireworks for that year’s Snowdown festivities. The resulting explosion caused a city-wide panic, not to mention spoiling Snowdown spirit for the remainder of the season.
While Gragas’ coveted concoctions were once so rare they were only attainable through the efforts of the most well-to-do connoisseurs, it appears as though the big man has decided to go global. Naturally, Zaun’s position on the mainland along with its well-established chemical industry makes it a natural phase one in his distribution plan. They say Singed is already in the process of refitting some of his substantial factory holdings with proper liquor stills built completely to the specifications of his new business partner. But the Rabble Rouser himself has also confirmed that he has appointments to set up brewing operations for his various recipes in both the icy northern reaches of Freljord and back down in my old stomping grounds of Bilgewater.
Raise your glass, mates, and have a toast to Gragas and Singed! The next time you’re ready to toss one back in Runeterra’s famous industrial paradise, you might be able to call for whatever the Rabble Rouser himself recommends! An exciting thought for both the drunk and the brave!
The Mailbag of Justice
Senior Summoner Ralston Farnsley commenting from the Institute of War
As construction of the Crystal Scar continues in Kalamanda, life in Runeterra has returned to some semblance of normalcy. Though tension between Noxus and Demacia remains high at the Institute of War, we may, for the first time in months, breathe a small sigh of relief. Without further ado, dear readers: the Mailbag of Justice.
“ Taric draws his power from earth magic through the resonance of crystals and gems. With the appearance of Skarner whose race seems to share a similar magical link to crystals, I was wondering if the two have met and what their thoughts are on each other.” – Opacus02
Taric is a very reserved member of the League of Legends and usually politely declines to comment in the Journal of Justice, but Skarner’s emergence and arrival at the Institute of War did indeed catch his interest enough to offer you this response:
“I have come across many kinds of magic during my time in Runeterra. Until the arrival of Skarner, no magic in this land has struck so closely to that of my home. It is a bit presumptuous, but I like to imagine that perhaps our worlds share a deeper connection than we think.”
“I have a question for Nocturne. If I do recall he was forced to work for the League because he tried to kill many summoners. It must be hard to remain in a world where you were forced into creation from dreams before to a harsh reality. So my question to Nocturne is: how have you adapted to life outside of dreams?” – Sarnok73
The creature called Nocturne is kept in an enchanted holding chamber within the Institute of War. His deeply ingrained hatred of summoners was apparent from the moment I approached: the room darkened unnaturally and Nocturne slashed his blades against the bars that divided us. I offered him your question, and at first I believed that the creature would refuse to answer, but Nocturne cackled and hissed his disturbing reply:
“Adapted? I am a prisoner to the most vicious and merciless of wardens. You summoners imprison and enslave, yet I am the one called nightmare. I will never ‘adapt’—I will never succumb to your tyranny. I bide my time. One day, I will show you a true nightmare, summoners.”
“My question is addressed to Wukong, the Monkey King. Wukong, you have said yourself that your dream is to become the most powerful champion in the Institute of War. What do you think of Jax, the Grandmaster at Arms? How do you plan on becoming the best when Jax stands in your way? Aren’t you nervous to face him? Do you truly believe that you can surpass the mighty Jax and his lamp post?” – J. R.
In the time since he joined the League of Legends, Wukong has spent a great deal of his time challenging other champions at the Institute of War to friendly duels “to get to know them” (as he puts it). He’s certainly brought a great deal of action to the sparring pits the likes of which haven’t been seen here in quite some time—I believe there are many here who have felt themselves inspired by his fighting spirit, and Jax is certainly included there. Ever-enthusiastic, the Monkey King was eager to offer you a response to your question.
“Jax is tough, and he’s always ready for a duel. I haven’t beaten him one-on-one outside the Field of Justice quite yet, but I’ve gotten close. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Wuju style, though, it’s that every defeat is a lesson. I can learn a lot from the Grandmaster at Arms.”