Templated version, because of incoming pruning:
Ole Tsoob is an incredibly strong champion coming from the asian part of Runeterra. Legend says a rogue arcanist from the Tsoob clan used a forbidden "animate weapon" spell on a pile of Infinity Edges and Deathcaps, but instead of the expected swarm of blazing flying swords of doom, all he got from the ritual was a baby that he named Ole.
He grew up tranquilly in a small boring village and stuff etc blah blah, but the very day he was old enough to hold a Bloodthirster in each hand without breaking the handle by striking too hard, Ole got the permission to join the league. He was supposed to prove his worth in a long fight against Jax but the latter surrendered at 20.
This is not a picture of him.
(*)His glorious statistics are explained just below.
- Because of his years of training at comparing champion stats on the wiki, Ole Tsoob's base stats and scalings adapt to the enemy: at the start of a game, he browses the stats of every champion in that game, and makes his own stats an arcane copy-paste of the highest of every stats and scalings found this way. Range counts too.
- Manaless because he drinks tears of the goddess instead of water since birth. If his HP goes below 60% at any point of the game, he permanently gets Rengar's Fury bar instead, which doubles the damage of his next spell when full.
Note: it was decided to add +1% attack speed to this as a balance hotfix.