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Volume 1, Issue 5

20 April, 23 CLE

Piltover Artifact StolenEdit

Heist preparations a flop, gone is the Stone of Tecuhtli.

Heartlessmushroom JOJgiacomo
Giacomo Consenza reporting from Piltover’s Museum of Ancient History

Hello, Giacomo here recovered from last week's knockout.

Despite all extensive measures to prevent the heist at Piltover's Museum of Ancient History from happening, The Stone of Tecuhtli was still stolen. Currently, the champions defending the museum were received by an outraged group of people outside of the installation accusing them of incompetence, which quickly quieted down as soon as ViSquare Vi stepped out, cracking her knuckles in a very threatening way.

The thief proved to be well-prepared for anything thrown at him. HeimerdingerSquare Heimerdinger's turrets, which were protecting the entrance of the exhibit, had their power source drained empty. CorkiSquare Corki's vessel malfunctioned after he tried to fire at a suspicious black figure, the missiles in his launcher got jammed and messed up the circuits instead. Several of the clockwork soldiers guarding the museum turned rogue and attacked JayceSquare Jayce while he was patrolling, which distracted him as that same black figure passed by.

The champions guarding the inside of the exhibit couldn't deal with him either. EzrealSquare Ezreal and CaitlynSquare Caitlyn were unable hit him at all, their shots appeared to go right through him, but in reality, the thief's extremely fast. With the stone taken right before their eyes they claimed, Vi got into pursuit, but surprisingly ended up chasing and pinning down a decoy... a yordle-shaped decoy. Upon this revelation, everyone in charge are shocked in disbelief at how on earth did the thief escaped them.

"The thief isn't 'C' this time, surprisingly," Caitlyn announced sternly to the horde of reporters gathering around her for a response. "'C' is perfectly capable of stealing artifacts even well-guarded than this, but he does not have the ability to disable devices nor use any sort of machinery to steal things, this isn't how he operates. Whoever this thief was, he must have had a reason to pretend he is "C". "Definitely, cupcake. In the meantime, I found something interesting as well!" Vi interrupted as she showed the card to us again, as she peeled of the 'mark', which is nothing but a sticker.

As there's still questions such as to the motive for stealing the Stone of Techulti, therefore I took the opportunity to interview Ezreal and treat him to breakfast on a local coffee shop once the crowd dissipated, who might answer some discrepancies (while avoiding eye contact with Vi as much as possible):

Ezreal's InterviewEdit

Heartlessmushroom JOJgiacomo Giacomo: Are you enjoying your meal? The bill is on me.

EzrealSquare Ezreal: I appreciated that. Who on earth is that thief? Man, you have no idea what dangers I had to go through to get that stone, with all the traps, piranhas and cannibals guarding that stone in the temple.

Giacomo: I'm just as bewildered as you are. Say, you don’t mind if I ask you a couple of questions about the Stone of Tecuhtli?

Ezreal: Not at all, I can tell you my adventures on obtaining that stone as well.

GIacomo: No, that will not be necessary, maybe for another time. Why do you think the thief targeted the stone? Aside from those small emeralds covering it, I don't think most run-of-the-mill thieves would find obsidian that valuable. Why that one when there's so many other golden artifacts from The Shurima Gallery instead?

Ezreal: Heh, I thought you’d assume that. Let's start with why this stone is crafted. The Tecuhtli tribe, who used to live in the Plague Jungles centuries ago, harnesses plague obsidian for their ceremonial rituals along with turquoise and emerald as catalysts. Plague obsidian is a very special kind of obsidian that is exclusive to the Plague Jungles because the nature of the magic in that area resonates perfectly with obsidian.

Giacomo: Oh, you mean it’s similar to the Kalamandan crystals?

Ezreal: Yes, it works pretty much the same as those.

Giacomo: What makes plague Obsidian so special that nearly everyone in Piltover is hired to guard this?

Ezreal: The magic in this stone is mysteriously powerful. We tried to research on it, but the devices we used on it seems to just break the moment it touches. That's right, we barely scratched the surface of this artifact, the only thing we can deduce right now is that this stone has the power to destroy machinery beyond repair.

Giacomo: It definitely sounds like a magical artifact... and it definitely sounds foreboding as well. It must have been something powerful for the inhabitants of The Plague Jungles.

Ezreal: I did done some research (without machinery) on that black butterfly insignia however, marked right at the center of the stone. Apparently it's the symbol of Mortieu Thela, the Death god for the Tecuhtli tribe. Why is the mark there when the stone is harmless to life is a mystery I'm trying to solve.

Giacomo : Are you sure of it? Perhaps it's just to honor their Death god?

Ezreal: I have to make another expedition to find more evidence, but whatever it might have been, we have to get it back before somebody else does find out what the Stone of Tecuhtli can truly do.

Giacomo: Well, thank you for telling me all this. I'm sure this kind of information will bring priority into searching the stone rather than looking for suspects. Thank you for your time, Ezreal.

Ezreal: Thank you, let's hope they do. Man, I swear I'll make Jayce treat me to steak If he forces me to be a jury in trial for this case.

Giacomo: Those tend to be pretty boring, don’t they?

Noxian Grand PlanEdit

Usurper Pi Portrait
Swain's announcement to citizens of Noxus

Timothy Hue reporting at Prime Square

Rejoice, fellow Noxians! Today is a day of celebration! For we have acquired the means to crush our opponents decisively. Centuries from now, today will stand out in the history books as the beginning of the end for our hated enemies, the Demacians, even if we're not entirely sure how yet...

Yesterday, Grand General SwainSquare Jericho Swain, the Master Tactician, announced the existence of a new power "capable of defeating Demacia once and for all" to the citizens of Noxian. Although he was fairly vague in his description, it was explained that the true nature of this power "cannot not be disclosed until the time is ripe."

"The beast of Noxus will soon awake, and Demacia will crumble under its footsteps. In the meantime, I have my eyes set on Freljord, as we have allies there," claimed Swain.

News of this announcement had spreaded quickly across Valoran, and the swift reactions of the other city-states is irrefutable proof of Noxus’ strength. Ionia, Freljord and our foe Demacia dispatched delegates to Noxus, though whether their true intention is diplomacy, espionage or sabotage remains to be seen. Our ally Zaun has offered to reduce the cost of their shipments for the Noxian military, although High Command is far more suspicious about that after the latest horse meat scandal.

"A beast eh? I'll be keeping an eye on this 'creature' that crippled human speaks of," exclaimed RengarSquare Rengar who is buying weapons in Noxus when interviewed about it.

Unsurprisingly, the most drastic measures have been taken by our arch-nemesis Demacia. They have stepped up their military activity in the form of their fairly incompetent border patrols and fort garrisons. Additionally, Demacia is sending threats, reminding us of the consequences, however insignificant, that would come with the end of this tense peace, although it is likely that these warnings will not affect the outcome, whatever that may be, in any way.

Speculation of what this new power could be ranges from a new army from the Void or Shadow Isles, prepared to fight to the death on Swain’s command, to a heretofore unheard of weapon capable of wreaking utter havoc on enemy troops. Though opinions differ, all agree on one thing: Any words the Grand General speaks cannot be taken lightly.

Stand firm, Noxus, for Demacia's hour of reckoning approaches. It will not be long before their armies are destroyed and their cities lie in ashes. Those with power always prevail, and no one has more power than our esteemed Grand General. Let us unite under the banner of the raven and do this state proud!

Remember: the raven is ever watchful.

Busy Busy Bandle CityEdit

Horse meat, cupcake lasers and artifact thieves

Holiday Shopkeeper profileicon
Hippalus reporting at Heimerdinger Bistro

I had the opportunity to be invited by HeimerdingerSquare Heimerdinger personally today, to recap what the champions of Bandle City have been doing on various incidents happening across Valoran.

MCLucky ZaunHorse

Piltover scientists meeting with the manager of Hoping Rabbit.

Zaun, while notorious for its lack of environmental awareness and shady projects, had took a step further by introducing foreign substances into their supply of beef to city states such as Noxus and Bilgewater. The so-called foreign substance turns out to be horse meat, which pretty much caused a major distress only rivaled by Freljord's civil unrest this time around, Heimerdinger has to join other Piltover researchers to reconfirm the accusations of horse meat introduced into the beef supply, primarily towards Hoping Rabbit's factories, which is the largest Zaunite company that manufactures beef products such as burgers, instant lasagne and fresh meat. Tests are conducted on all-known suppliers of cow and the manufacturing process used, and eight out of ten tests resulted in positives for the presence of horse meat.

Meanwhile, Bandle City itself is bombarded by random cupcake lasers fired by VeigarSquare Veigar precisely at 9 a.m. every day, coming from the north. Anti-air defenses have been deployed to intercept most of the bombardment, but one or two lasers will eventually penetrate the defenses and destroy some cupcake supplies. Bandle City will continue to have cupcake casualties, whereas TristanaSquare Tristana and TeemoSquare Teemo will be searching for the whereabouts of Veigar's artillery encampment.

Then we have the security failures in protecting the Stone of Tecuhlti in Piltover, despite offering to protect it against the famous Piltover thief. Just between you and me, I can feel Heimerdinger's bitterness despite all his long-winded scientific theatrics, as he takes pride in his work. A thief that can disable Hextech weaponry, which is famous for its complexity, means he has extensive knowledge about machinery, and because it involves Hextech, the suspect is very likely a yordle (or at least assisted by a yordle) as well, since we yordles excel in Hextechnology.

I can only speculate a few possible candidates, VeigarSquare Veigar, RumbleSquare Rumble and KennenSquare Kennen. Veigar is hard to confirm however, because he's more into dark magic rather than technology, but with him invading Bandle City in a large blimp and firing long range lasers from afar seems to tell me he has help from someone extensive in weaponry like this.

In MemoryEdit

Master Lito lives on in our hearts

Akali Myo JojO
Mio Sakura reporting at the Ionian Burial Gardens

Peace. That is something all Ionians feel upon entering such a serene garden, but it is always accompanied with sorrow. I am here today with IreliaSquare Irelia, the famed Will of the Blades, to visit the grave of our honorable elder, Master Lito. It is an annual practice for Ionians to visit their late families and ancestors, to pray for blessings and goodwill from their spirits in the afterlife.

Master Lito was a great man. He was an Elder within the Ionian Council, a teacher to students in the Art of the Blade, and a father of two inspirational children, Irelia and Zelos. He was a noble and just man, whom most Ionians look up to, and was known for his great skill. He was said to have stood still upon the rooftop of his house during a storm, and stayed dry until the rain stopped, without moving an inch. For such an action, he was granted a place within the Council of Elders.

But in a turn of events that no one expected, Lito had caught a fatal illness, and passed on soon after, leaving behind two children, and a nation in mourning. There were many theories of his cause of death, some say he was poisoned, others say the illness was passed on through a curse, but I won't thread upon anymore of that matter, and leave it to the reader to ponder.

I asked Irelia, who was on the edge of tears, for a comment. After a long silence from her, she finally said:

"Behind every great person, there was always an inspiration behind them, the wind that holds up their wings. My father was that wind, and though he may no longer be here, I still feel him, pushing me onward. Some readers may not understand this, but all I ask of you readers, is to cherish those who care for you, while you still have them,"

An emotional message from the Will of the Blades, while it is rare to see her in such a state, I will not ask any more from her. This is Mio Sakura, signing off.

The Mailbag of Justice OverhauledEdit

Let's see which mails are lucky enough today!

MCLucky MCLucky
M.C. Lucky eating Lawful Cupcake at Heimerdinger Bistro

Well, we survived much longer than issues, is that a big yay for us? Seemed to me that the Journal of Justice Overhauled is still running today is totally a miracle, after nearly accused of conspiracy in Freljord.

Meanwhile, vacancies are still open except for Piltover. We still desperately require more reporters and artists for the Journal of Justice Overhauled, especially for logo design, it's still stuck with my lovely initial design and people will soon get tired of its loveliness. I tried to draw Zaun's dirty green water and farm fields as well, hope you guys can see through the abstract minimalist art.

MCLucky JoJ Mailbag
Feel free to ask more as well, because I prefer answering questions than writing a monologue of my life.

"Fiddlesticks has alwayes been a creature of wonder to me. Thoe I have sommoned this champion many times I have learned very little about him. I was their for wondering if any off the other chapions have had any encounters with him that could shed some light on his motives or his views on this world? I understand if this is not possable for you to acomplish or if he simply dose not know any thing but I would like to hear nocterns opinion in particular. I wold also love to see the views of champions from the shadow isles." - Summoner Izamathanos

If only entering the Institute of War was that easy, we would have been the old publication already, but at least I managed to ask a quick question towards NocturneSquare Nocturne a few minutes before the enemies' nexus exploded while he's in a match.

"Him? I know nothing about him except that we're trapped inside this silly League together for who knows when and he mostly stays still as a tree. Maybe he thinks he's a tree. However, that will be the first and last question I will answer, summoner." - NocturneSquare Nocturne

I did ask some other Shadow Isle champions as well:

"He is a weird creature alright. He is antisocial even for my tastes." - EvelynnSquare Evelynn

"I asked him if he's once a tree like me as well, but he never answered me." - MaokaiSquare Maokai

"Who cares about him? He's blind to our God. But you, you have potential, the Lord sees it. You like to join me, don't you?" - EliseSquare Elise

"I cannot use his skull, he has a misshapen head." - KarthusSquare Karthus

"Mind if you ask Brand if he has anything to say about Lissandra as well as the current issues of the world?" - Summoner Megames1

This is another difficult feat to accomplish as well. Unfortunately I cannot fulfill your desires by asking Brand, as he's confined inside the League, which we cannot enter. In the meantime, I wonder why you are directing this question to Lissandra? She's a Freljordian princess, what does she have to do with the end of the world, is she in a prophecy of saving the world you found out or something? You could share your findings, but don't tell that to Briskes.