Sorry that I haven't been making more of these recently, I didn't realize that people liked them that much. Well, as someone suggested, it is now time for the report card of Dr. Mundo!
AP Biology: A+
Physical Education: A+
Marching Band: A
Remedial Algebra I: F
Teacher Comments: AP Biology: Mundo is one of my best students in my class. While he has an obvious speech impediment, he is a biology protege. He knows a surprising (even disturbing) amount about infections, blood, pain receptors, and things like that. He is a very knowledgeable student, and he seems to be able to apply concepts better than most other students.
English: Mundo is a terrible speaker of English. He is by far worse than our foreign exchange students. He speaks primarily in the third person, saying idiotic things like “Mundo goes where he pleases!” and slurping loudly in class. His expression during my class is one of pure, burning, agony, which I take offense at. I really do not like having this student in my class.
Physical Education: Mundo is a spectacular athlete. I've never seen anyone quite like him. During dodgeball, he throws the balls harder than almost anyone, causing most of the people he hits to be limping for a few minutes afterward. During football, when he gets hurt, he acts like some sort of masochist and plays even better than before! He is exactly what a gym teacher is looking for. A wonderful student, all around.
History: Mundo is quite ignorant. He doesn't know basic history at all. He doesn't even bother to hold up the pretense of paying attention in my class, he just sings to himself and doodles pictures of himself (which, I might add, are quite bad) He is a rather simple person, so I try to be easier on him, but he doesn't even try, and I can only be lenient so far.
Marching Band: Mundo is an excellent percussionist. He is the 5th bass drum player in our marching band. He can't do fast rhythms, but he can sure hit that drum hard! He stays in time very well, and he doesn't talk constantly, unlike most of the other band members. He is rather slow outside of band, but once his adrenaline gets going, he can perform excellently.
Remedial Algebra I: Mundo is quite possibly the very worst math student that I have ever encountered. I am a remedial math teacher, and most students that even I have are miles ahead of Mundo. He can't remember any formulas or anything that I try to teach him. Sometimes he even forgets his own name. I'm rather confused how he does that, considering how he always speaks in the third person.
Chemistry: Mundo is not terrible at chemistry. He is good with mixing chemicals, and he seems to have a lot of experience with it. Unfortunately, he panics when he sees something ignite, which is obviously the wrong thing to do. Another unfortunate incident involving the injury of his lab partner resulted in a brief investigation of him. He spilled some acid on his lab partner, then, rather than helping, just looked hungrily at the growing wound like some sort of sadist.
Thanks for reading Dr. Mundo's report card! Feel free to leave any comments below (constructive comments, that is).
PS I'll probably keep doing these, but at a slower rate than before. Probably more frequently than the delay between this and Warwick's.