This is a mockery post. I am not responsible for any raging, hair-pulling, or vein-slitting that ensues after reading this.

Are you not warned enough yet?Edit

So please consider all Doran's items and all support items gone from the game as they would be key targets to replace by those ones.

Oh wait!Edit

These are not the only items gone! Consider Avarice Blade, Mejai's Soulstealer, Sword of the Occult gone too.

Inspiration taken from items Edit

The ItemsEdit

Now, the idea is to force everybody to pick a lane and a meta position by buying one of these items to fit their position.
Have fun.

The item that your top laner will pick. Your tank now becomes a better tank with health regen while farming on the Lonely Island top lane like a boss. Lane sustain for the win?

Your mid-lane item. Favoritizes a brand of mid-lane, via granting AP and mana, bye bye mid-lane ZedSquare Zed but hey, better champion diversity lol. Also, enjoy extra experience on kill.

The item that the wannabe AD Carry marksman (BELYEVE ET) will pick. Also, since Marksmen farm, you're now rewarded for farming. You still get extra gold per laning kill just so that you need to rant at your support for KSing.

"Cheerleader's Wank", the item that nobody will want to buy ever because it means that they'll spend the game sucking the d*cks of the rest of their team.
Or not. This time, I had a head and supports these days are rewarded for annoying the bejeemus out of the enemy ADC marksman. But face it, you're a support, and you only get gold for assists. Good luck getting one when your lane friend will farm those siege minions!


  • Upgrading Defender's Shield will upgrade Ghost.
  • Upgrading Killer's Book will upgrade Clarity.
  • Upgrading Melter's Musket will upgrade Cleanse.
  • Upgrading Supporter's Wand will upgrade Clairvoyance.
  • The upgraded items will have the same enchants as the jungler items.
"5000 years ago, amidst the infinite desert, a great city was flourishing. However, even a flower amidst the desert has its shadow..."
― Premise of the incoming piece of custom champion lore "Ancient Times"
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