(The setting: Welcome to the near future. It is May 2014 and the world rejoices. Lucian has been released.)
We at Riot Games are deeply sorry for the long delay of Lucian. After a staff meeting with the whole design team and whipping them 30 times each by the lucky winner of the "Punish the lazy guys involved with Lucian while dressed as Draven"-Contest (2nd and 3rd place will get their RP as soon as possible), we decided to give you a new champ within 72 hours as compensation, releasing an Art Spotlight at day 1, a Champion Spotlight at day 2 and release the champ at day 3. Without further ado, here's the Champion Sneak Peek.
Uhm... We fired every writer so we can focus all our monies on Lucian getting released, so that's awkward... He's a Yordle... allied with Noxus somehow... And he's also involved with the Void. Getting sucked in one day and... let's say he has survived for 100 years without aging, that's how the void may work. Getting out empowered. Maybe he knows Kog's daddy, if he don't get scrapped. You know what? Let's make him female so we have one more flat-chested, non-sexualized female champ as evidence that our big-breasted sexy champs are not big-breasted sexy champs because of pure fanservice. 3/4 bird perspective or whatever you have as a design choice. It works every time... Where was I? Ah, yeah, just stated why he's in the League, if I'm correct. We're always thinking about good and cool reasons why champs are getting on the Fields of Justice.
Please inform me if you find big mistakes in my wording. English is not my first language, but I'm trying my best.
Another "funcept", here we go. Don't take it seriously, please. Other than that, I hope that I can give you a good laugh XD
Of course, I have nothing against Coronach. I just randomly picked someone from the design team with a known first name and he's the unlucky guy. Nothing personal, just business.